I won’t deny your choice to come out probably did hurt some people, but don’t de-prioritize the hurt *you* experienced and would have continued to experience if you continued living with that secret. This is one of those no-blame situations that Giraffe Santa Is This Jolly Enough Christmas shirt. You already did everything you could possibly do to limit the damage and pain to others. You have a right to live out the rest of your days happy. I hope one day your former wife is able to recognize that, whatever your hidden desires were, the love and the happy memories from your life together were all very much real, and that she might have lost a husband, but only she is making the choice to lose a meaningful friend.
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